Memory.

Had to perform a monologue today. I managed to cry, I had to use a very painful memory to create those tears though. Isn't it strange how horrible things you go through can actually help you later in life. I am actually grateful to have gone through that memory as it helped me today.

On a bit of a downer now though, I keep thinking about how I felt back then; the jealousy, not feeling good enough, the hatred I felt just looking in the mirror. Wishing I was her. Acting really does mess with your emotions.

On a happier note. Seeing Mark tonight, he's staying for the weekend. Actually cannot wait to see him, especially after today, thinking about that particular memory. Only he can make it better.