Everyone assumes, just because I love acting, that I must be confident. And yet, at times I feel like I'm the least confident person in the room. Yes, I can get on stage and become a different person. But ask me to be myself and I find it difficult.
I think sometimes I may come across as being quite arrogant, but I assure you that that is only an act. I could pick out a hundred and one things about myself that I would absolutely love to change.
I just find it so hard to be me. I'm a control freak, I admit. And so I can never let my guard down, even with the people I love most. I can not let them see a side to myself that I don't like. I put on an act, so they never have to see the real me. I've gotten so use to having a barrier up that sometimes I don't know who I am anymore.
I also find that I keep people at a distance, so as to not let myself be in the position to show the real me. It takes me time to befriend people, and even then they probably wouldn't know everything. But then that makes me think... are we ever really ourselves?!
In my case, no I don't think I am really ever myself. I think that at times I show bits of my personality, but most of the time I put on a face. I was once told that we have many different faces, and I believe that. We all have different faces, or masks, and we put which ever one on depending on the situation and who you're with. The only time I'm ever truly myself would be when I am only with myself.
Just a thought.
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We'll all do it, Your not the only one :)
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