The perfect weekend.

I do love him so much. I think sometimes I need reminding of how lucky I am.
Everyone deserves this.

Gosh, I am a sop.

Deck the halls!

I know it's not even the 1st of Dec yet, so don't shoot me for writing a blog about Xmas, please.

Is it a crime to actually look forward to that time of the year? Why am I looking forward to it, you may ask.. particularly as there hasn't been a Xmas in my life where things have run smoothly and I've actually enjoyed the day. Well.. no harm in hoping for it to go well! The idea of Xmas sounds pleasant.. time with the family, eating good warm food, drinking good warm alcohol, and singing good warm carols. That's how it goes in the movies anyways.

The reality of it is at some point in the day you're going to argue with someone, particularly after one too many mulled wines, you'll eat to your hearts content and won't be able to fit into your jeans the next day, and you'll be sick of all the carols as it's all you've heard since November.
Isn't it a shame that it's only one day, eh?

Oh well, to all you scrooges out there! I cannot wait! I like reality, it's all so... real! No point living in fantasy. Appreciate what you've got.

And only 39 days to go!

Lesson of the day.

Nothing good ever comes from speaking the truth.

Confidence is a funny thing.

Everyone assumes, just because I love acting, that I must be confident. And yet, at times I feel like I'm the least confident person in the room. Yes, I can get on stage and become a different person. But ask me to be myself and I find it difficult.
I think sometimes I may come across as being quite arrogant, but I assure you that that is only an act. I could pick out a hundred and one things about myself that I would absolutely love to change.
I just find it so hard to be me. I'm a control freak, I admit. And so I can never let my guard down, even with the people I love most. I can not let them see a side to myself that I don't like. I put on an act, so they never have to see the real me. I've gotten so use to having a barrier up that sometimes I don't know who I am anymore.
I also find that I keep people at a distance, so as to not let myself be in the position to show the real me. It takes me time to befriend people, and even then they probably wouldn't know everything. But then that makes me think... are we ever really ourselves?!
In my case, no I don't think I am really ever myself. I think that at times I show bits of my personality, but most of the time I put on a face. I was once told that we have many different faces, and I believe that. We all have different faces, or masks, and we put which ever one on depending on the situation and who you're with. The only time I'm ever truly myself would be when I am only with myself.
Just a thought.

Relax. Don't do it. When you want to go to it.

Went to Bristol today.
Didn't know where we were going.
But that was the whole fun of it.
Had a good day, but now I'm shattered!

Xmas is coming soon.. am soooo excited! I just love it!
Was really excited buying people things today, I get more excited about giving presents than receiving them! Aren't I nice! =]

Going to have a relaxing evening tonight, put up my feet and read Harry Potter with a nice hot chocolate. How wonderful.

Isn't throwing up just awful.

Lying in my bed, bored, because my lunch didn't agree with me. First sick day yet, and hopefully my last. I hope I don't miss out on anything important, otherwise I will not be happy.
Weathers been awful lately. Just rain, rain, rain. Does it rain more when you're by the sea? Hmm. I wonder?
Miss my parents. Been thinking about my Nan alot. Isn't it just awful getting old. I'm hoping they invent something that prevents it by the time I'm 50. Hope shes alright.
Just watched Jaws 2.. not going in the sea anytime soon.

Hello?

Invisible? As always.